Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Where I Am Now.

I've been keeping this blog or what ever it is for five years now. There's not really anything of much substance here; it's more of a place to vent or to occasionally satiate my need to feel clever. When this all started I was in the process of ending a terrible relationship with myself. I had no idea where I was going to end up, but for the first time in years I could see light on the horizon and I had hope. My life has always been a little atypical, but the last five years have been even more so. I have traveled to amazing places, seen indescribable things, and met wildly interesting people. I've fallen in love a couple of times, fallen into the wrong bed a couple of times, and discovered what real friendship is.
But sometimes I forget, I forget the spark that started it all. I forget the sense of wonder and excitement of starting a journey without knowing the path ahead. So sometimes I go back and read my very first post here, the one that started it all. In it I captured my excitement and hopes for changing my life, it brought me to where I am now. A little while back I was talking to Bryan about where we (he and I, and our peers) were at in our lives. I told him that the big mistake that people make, the rut we fall into, is to wait for things to happen in our lives. We wait for things to come along, or for the right time. We view our lives as a series of destinations. When the kids are out of the house I'll go back to school. Someday I'll start my our business. When this happens I'll... When the time is right... We sit back and we wait for life to arrive. But the fact is, there is only one destination in life, death. We are born, we live, and then we die. There is no destination in the middle. We like to think there is. And this is the idea I was conveying to Bryan. The reason I feel lucky about my life and why I think it is so much better than my peers. I still have room above and ahead of me. Most of my friends/peers have peaked in their lives. They have the best job they are likely to ever have and make as much money as they ever will. They've had the kids and bought the house, and this is about as good as it's ever going to get.
I forget sometimes that I have this crazy interesting life and that the best parts are still ahead of me.

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